I am dreading this Saturday

So this Saturday is our 18-mile run.  After the 16-mile run and the way I hit the wall on the hills I am completely dreading this weekend.  According to our coach, 18 miles is the big test - if you can do 18 miles you can do a marathon.  My feeling is if you can do 26 miles, you can do a marathon.  If you do 18, that still means you have 8 miles left.  Oh boo hoo.  I'm just praying I can get through this weekend.   

I feel I'm at least better prepared for this run.  The week before the 16-mile marathon, my calf was bothering me and I only got one maintenance run in that week.  Plus, I was covering for my friend at work so instead of my normal 10am-6pm shift, I was working 6:30am-2:30pm which threw my body clock off completely for the week.  I was constantly tired.  Not to mention the fact that my sister was visiting that week so we spent a lot of time doing some fine dining: so lack of sleep, lack of running and eating richer foods than I usually eat probably had an effect on the 16-mile run.  At least I hope that's what it was.  Either way, I'm not looking forward to this weekend.

Oh, and we have to meet an hour earlier.  Usually we meet at 7am but this week we're meeting at 6.  That is just ungodly.  They decided to move the start time up because of the hellish weather we've been having in Southern California.  On Monday, we had record-breaking temperatures of 113 degrees.  113!  While it hasn't been that hot this week, the temperatures are still going to be in the 90s and dry this weekend so we're going to avoid the heat by starting in the dark.  Maybe I'll get bit by a coyote.  Good times.

I really don't like running.  I just don't.  I keep waiting for that to change but I don't think it ever will.  But I made this commitment and too many people have have been incredibly supportive and generous with their donations so I have to keep at it.  And I can't forget the people I'm really running for.  I have to say I do enjoy the feeling when it's over but that's not so much a feeling of accomplishment as much as it's a feeling of "thank God I survived."  But I'll take my victories any way I can get them.

Wish me luck.  God knows I need it.