This is not an entry about the marathon but I had started a blog earlier this year that no one ever read (including me) and at the beginning of the year I made some New Year's resolutions. So now I'm going to check in and see how I'm doing.
Note: I have left the original resolutions alone and put the updates in bold.
Posted on January 12, 2010
I kind of like this - writing for no one and sending it out to nothingness. The largeness of my anonymity is astounding.
I've been making resolutions this year but since I haven't written any of them down, they remain ethereal and therefore not subject to being kept. It's time to buckle down and write down all the things I will try to live up to this year - some are mundane and can be easily measured; others carry a more moral weight and are therefore far less easy to quantify.
1. Flossing. It's something I hate doing. Hate. It. With a passion. Don't get me wrong - I brush regularly and frequently. But flossing? No. I only do it in the few days leading up to my next cleaning. I have not scheduled a cleaning in about six months and therefore have not flossed. Odds of keeping this resolution - slim. Update: I actually started flossing regularly a couple of weeks ago. Alas, it only lasted a week. Oh well. Still, I'd give myself a C on this one.
2. Continue to not smoke. I quit smoking June 11, 2002. Cold turkey. That's 7 years, seven months and one day. So making a resolution after all that time to continue to not smoke seems like an easy one. You would think. You would be wrong. The other day - for no reason at all I craved a cigarette. Absolutely had to have one. It came out of nowhere. And it went away as quickly as it came. But the suddenness of it was almost overpowering and I could see myself lighting up and thoroughly enjoying it. I feel confident I will be able to keep this resolution but you never know. Update: On June 11th, I celebrated my 8th year without a cigarette. Grade: A+
3. Stop biting nails. I make this one every year. Every year I fail. It would be a lot easier if I were actually conscious of the fact that I was biting them. But I'm not. I'll be watching TV and will suddenly realize, hey I've been chewing on this thumbnail for the last ten minutes. You'd think I'd appreciate my nails more. About 15 years ago I had a fungal infection and lost all my fingernails. I used to hide my hands from view. I had no health insurance but managed to get access to some prescription anti-fungal medication and everything cleared up. For six months I was so concious of my fingernails - I was so proud when I actually was able to get a manicure. Now, I barely remember the embarrassment of how awful my hands looked. Odds of me keeping this resolution: 50/50. Update: I had to stop biting the nail on my ring finger long enough to give myself an F on this one.
4. Respond to emails more quickly. This is a tough one. I will keep emails in my inbox, meaning to get back to them right away and then I'll look up and realize it's been sitting in my inbox for 8 months. So far this year, I've been sticking to this one. But it's hard. Odds of keeping this resolution: 60/40 in favor. Update: I found the best way to handle this. I just delete the emails. Grade: B
5. Walk the dog more. It's good for both of us. So far this year, I've walked the dog four times in 12 days. Not an auspicious start but a start nonetheless. Update: Since I started training for the Marathon I've been taking the dog on brisk 45 minute walks on the days I don't run. It's been great for both of us. Grade: A-
Note: instead of "I've been taking the dog" I originally typed "I've been doing the dog." That is disturbing on so many levels.
6. Learn a foreign language. My cousin just visited from Italy. Between her English and my limited Italian, along with some Spanish that we both knew we were able to converse but it would be nice to be fluent in the language of my ancestors. Odds of sticking to this one: yeah, right. Update: Ha!
7. Stop living in the past. I spend a lot of time wondering about the what-ifs and the why didn't I's. It's not helpful. Also can't be helped. Don't know how measureable this one is. Don't even know why I bothered putting it on there. If I give up living in the past, I'll have to find completely new things to hate about myself. I'm too old for that. Odds of keeping this resolution: about the same as having a public option. Update: Seriously, why bother even evaluating this one. The mind goes where the mind goes. Grade: Incomplete
8. This one was really personal since I was blogging anonymously and figured no one would read it anyway. So I took it off since this one was just for me. But in case you're wondering, I give myself a B-.
9. Not take my friends for granted. This is tied into the responding to emails resolution. I really do want to maintain closer ties to the people I care about. I don't mean to let 10 months go by before I make plans to have coffee with a good friend. Of course, they could be more proactive about keeping in touch with me too. What the fuck is wrong with them? You know what, this resolution is stupid - take it off the list. Update: I have never appreciated my friends more since I started raising money for the marathon. Over $5,500 so far. I have wonderful friends.
10. I don't have a 10th resolution. Oh wait, I do - continue to lose weight. I lost 24 pounds last year. I gained five back during the holiday season but have cut two of those already for a net loss of 21 pounds. I want to lose at least 25 more this year. My problem is I get impatient and when I don't lose I get depressed and frustrated and when I get depressed and frustrated I eat which leads to weight gain which leads to more depression and more frustration which leads to more eating which leads to more weight gain which leads to . . . I think the key here is not to get depressed and frustrated which of course means, yep, drugs. Update: I have not lost any weight since I started running which is kind of disappointing. But I feel so much better and my clothes fit better. So the weight is still there but it just looks different. Weird.
That's a lot for one year. Wish me luck no one. I really like having you to talk to.
Bart, you are the man.
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